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First let me say that Brett and I had a good conversation last Sunday morning about the disconnection Christians seem to have between living God's word and taking care of God's Earth. Brett brought up a good point about Jesus being more of a hippie type that accepted everyone versus being materialistic and wasteful. Kind of makes you wonder, ya know ... if Jesus showed up today ... would he drive a fancy car and have lots of stuff or would he be walking around in Birkenstocks with long hair driving an old beat up VW bus? He also wonders why said Christians seem to be the last to be aware of being wasteful. Do they feel entitled? If so, what is it that they feel entitled to? That is definitely in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. I doubt they see it as being entitled to be wasteful and to do harm to the planet and to create bigger problems for the next generation. Maybe they feel they deserve all the convenience items of today. I don't know. I do know that Brett and I are very aware of the issue and we try to conserve whenever we can. We feel guilty about the trash we do create and the excess fuel we consume but we try to do our part whenever we can. We both feel that if everyone could just be made aware then changes would happen little by little for the betterment (is that a word?) of our society and of our planet. All the little things we can do really do add up.

You bring up an interesting point about certain groups living as if the end times are near. There's a religious sect here in Lake City ... it's really a cult but they claim to be a religion ... that is planning for the end of times. I don't have the energy to go into that right now but I would encourage you to do some research into the End Timers and Meade Ministries in Lake City. I think we talked about this at Perkins that night. Not sure if you remembered to look it up or not. I have some serious issues with this cult. We'll get into that some other time.

As for school ... it's been a very emotional journey this past week. I've teetered between being super excited and gung-ho about it to saying forget about it I don't want to go. As it stands right now I have to go back to UF this fall for some post-bac work. More than I was thinking I would have to do but not as bad as it could be. I really thought it would be farther off than two months from now. I'm having serious issues with having to leave the boys. Even though it won't be that many hours each week, I really thought I would be home with them until they started school. As for Grad school ... that's still up in the air due to my undergrad GPA. I really want to go to UF but it looks like I might have to go to UNF. It's a long story that i'm too tired to explain right now but at least i'm taking steps in the right direction.

As it stands now, the mathematics graduate advisor at UF is going to let me into the program as a post-bac student so I can take the undergrad mathematics courses i'm missing so that I can get into grad school somewhere. Apparently they have such a large applicant pool to choose from that they don't ever have to make exceptions for the GPA rule. They'll do it for the GRE scores but not for GPA. (And my GPA isn't even that bad. I have a 2.7 instead of the 3.0 they require.) Wish it was the other way around because my GRE score rocked the house. UNF will allow your GRE score to stand above your GPA which is why I have a much better chance of getting in there. The grad advisor at UF that i've been talking with this week said I could probably get in there right away. I still have some post-bac work to do though and I would prefer to do that in Gainesville. It's a shorter drive and I have several friends there so hopefully can find someone to watch the boys while i'm in class a couple hours at a time three days a week. Still a lot of things to figure out but we're getting there.

I'm also in the process of talking with the community college here in Lake City about teaching there on an adjunct basis until I finish school. It would give me great teaching experience and a little bit of money which is badly needed right now. My engineering work has pretty much gone to nothing over the past couple of months which has been the catalyst to this whole going back to school situation. Nothing like being broke to make you get your butt moving, huh? :) I really wish I could stay home with the boys but we have to eat, ya know? At first, the thought of leaving them brought tears to my eyes. It's getting a little better now. I'm just trying to live in the moment and truly appreciate every last day I have with them. To look on the bright side of things, it is definitely making me appreciate every minute I have with them.

So this fall i'll have to take Advanced Calculus and Numbers & Polynomials. In the spring it will be Advanced Calculus 2 and Abstract Algebra. In the summer it will be Linear Algebra. That should leave me prepared to start grad school the very next semester which would be fall of 2008. We're thinking of buying a little Honda for me to travel back and forth to Jacksonville with once we get to that point. Then Brett could drive the Pathfinder. I wish we could buy him a newer truck. He really deserves it. He works his butt off and drives a 13 year old truck with a/c that only works when it wants to. But here we go a few more steps backwards in the money department for a while so that's not going to happen. I certainly hope things turn around after this. That is the ultimate goal with me going back to school. A job that fits my personality, which teaching at the CC level definitely would be, and a steady income that we can count on .... which is a great thing when you are trying to raise a family. We've been working backwards since we moved here in 2003 and we're both just about fed up with it. Still not sure how we're going to afford my post-bac work but i'm determined to figure it out. The thought of more student loans makes me cringe but that may just be the way it has to be.

Great things usually come out of adversity. We're survivors. We've been through a lot and we've always come out of things just fine. The next three years are going to be a bit of a challenge but we've got lots of family around that should be able to support us emotionally and with the kids if we need it. And even though i'll have to leave the boys, i'm looking forward to spending some more time in Gainesville. As we said before, going back to school at this age and point in life brings a completely different perspective. I just hope that i'm successful. This is a major personal challenge for me. Can I go back after all these years and pick up where I left off? Can I get the A's that I think I can this time around? I guess only time will tell. And until that time comes, i'll be studying my butt of going through all of my college math books. Sure glad I kept those things around. :)