In the Moment...

Wow! That is quite an impressive post! Um, and did I mention that it's pretty freakin' long too? Wow. But, good stuff. I really like where you're going with a lot of your thinking here! Anyway, enough with all of that. On with the discussion.

I want to focus right now on the idea that your professor put into your head, that we are to really just live in the present, or in the moment. This is great advice. Most of us live our lives with our focus upon the past (what have we done? what haven't we done? what should we have done?) or in the future (where will I be? what will I be doing? will it be better?), instead of truly living in the moment. I know that this is something that I struggle with daily. It seems like there is always something else to be done, whether it's writing a review, putting a kid to bed, cooking dinner, or whatever and I find that I miss the moments that are right before me.

It's actually funny (and please excuse this writing style as well which is totally just a flow of consciousness thing right now!) but I really have been thinking about this this week as I drove down the traffic-jammed roads, watching people nod their heads to music while talking on their cell phones. We pride ourselves on being multi-taskers, on being people who "accomplish things". Hmmmm....sounds great until you actually live in it.

If I may, for but a moment, revert to my preachery days, I'm reminded of a story from Jesus' life, in which he's hanging out with these two sisters, Mary and Martha. They're the sisters of the guy, Lazarus, that Jesus ends up bringing back to life. Anyway, Jesus comes to see them and Martha dives into the kitchen, fixing this and cooking that. She's obsessed with getting all sorts of preparations done. But her sister, Mary, just sits at the feet of Jesus, enjoying his presence and listening to him speak and teach. Martha gets pissed and storms in, complaining about Mary's supposed laziness. Jesus responds simply. He says:

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41, 42).

This to me seems to be the same situation. Martha was consumed with what needed to be done, with what had not been done, and so forth that she missed the important thing. Jesus, the Savior of the world, was in her living room and she was worried about baking cookies! We do the same thing in our every day lives. One thing we assume far too readily is that we will have tomorrow. It's a morbid thought for some but it's a reality all the same. We don't know what the next day holds.

Yet, the moment is the only thing we can truly experience and, at least in some ways, have control over. Yesterday is past. There is nothing we can do about the places where we failed or the moments we missed. This is not to diminish the consequences of those mistakes but they are in the past. To beat ourselves up over them is simply foolish. Likewise, the future is beyond our control as well. Certainly it is wise to be prepared for the proverbial rainy day or to work toward a goal, but when, to some degree, you become obsessed with tomorrow and miss out on the blessings of today, you've gone too far.

Monastic spirituality, both Christian and non, greatly deal in this realm. As I've studied the monastic orders some the past year or so, I've become very moved by their devotion to the moment. Each moment is spent trying to taste of all of life, seeing it as a blessing and gift from God above. The cool air on our face, the sunshine breaking down, casting dappled shadows on the fallen leaves, all these are blessings, gifts not to be missed. The call of our child to play, the simple desire in our lover's eye, or a loud belly laugh that comes out of nowhere, all gifts. Yet, we miss them day in and day out. We are obsessed with appearance, judgement, pride, time, and so many other factors that our lives become dictated by outside sources.

This leads me to where I think you're probably heading at the end of your post, with the idea that we outside forces to tell us who we are. We're taught that we are our jobs. Nine times out of ten when we meet people we inevitably find ourselves asking, "So, what do you do?", as though it will give us a glimpse into the depths of their soul. In some ways, sure, there might be some validity to that. But the honest truth is that the waste collector is no worse nor better than the thorasic surgeon or (gotta throw this one in there :) ) rocket scientist! We, especially in my view of faith through the eyes of a Christ-follower, are all on a level playing field. We all have and do screw up. We all cry, die, laugh, live, love, hurt, and long for something better. Our jobs are important to us but they do not define us.

I could probably go on and on but, well, it's late and I'm tired. I'm digging this thing thus far, how about you?

- Andy